You, Me, and That Guy
by Chrissy Pen
Summary: Life's not easy when you're the shortest male in all of New York and your mom is dating the most hated english teacher in the school. (SLASH)
1. Chapter 1

I got this idea while reading the Princess Diaries series by Meg Cabot.  Which are highly amusing by the way.  Plus an incredibly easy and fun read.  It helps me when I'm overwhelmed with school.  Instead of stressing over midterms, I read these books in about 3 days…  That probably explains why I failed all my midterms.  Anyways, I may use some ideas from the books but sadly the main character is not going to be a princess…  (Mainly because he's a BOY.)  Anyways, most everyone has seen the movie.  Which amused me.  But I suppose that's because I liked the books.  Why am I talking about this?  The fic isn't really about the books or the movie…  Basically I'm writing this because my other fic is driving me insane and I needed something different.  But I do plan on finishing Friday I'm In Love… You know what?  I'm done.  I'll never shut up if I don't stop now.

ANYWAYS, I do not own any of this.  Not the ideas I borrow from the books or the characters I took from Newsies.  They belong to a long list of people I'd rather not name.  

You, Me, and That Guy 

Wednesday, December 1  

Today is the day that my mother decided she is going to start dating again.  

When I got home from school, she had an incredibly serious look on her face and she had cooked dinner.  She never cooks dinner.  I would never in a million years eat the stuff she cooks for dinner.  Especially since there is a good chance that the Elmer's Glue in the spice cabinet somehow got mixed into the dinner.  

The moment she said, "Andrew, honey, can you sit down for a moment?"  I knew there was something wrong.  She never calls me Andrew, she always calls me Andy or sometimes she even calls me by my school nickname Spot.  Although having her calling me Spot is kind of weird.  I mean, she's my mom.  She's not supposed to call me by the nickname dubbed by my friends at school.  

Anyways, she sits me down looks deeply into my eyes.  "Andrew, I'm going to start dating again.  I've decided its time."

I have no idea what I looked like at the time.  But I believe the thought running through my mind was "Again?"

However, mom always takes everything to the next level.  Every decision she makes is a big decision to her.  Although I still don't see what's so cool about deciding to date.  I mean she just broke up with her last boyfriend five months ago.  "Are you all right with that?"  She asked with a sympathetic smile on her face.

"Yeah, that's great" was my exact answer.  

She frowned in reply.  "I don't think you're telling me the truth, Andy.  I knew you'd have a hard time with this which is why I bought you this." 

It was about then that she handed me this book and told me that if I was going to keep hiding my feelings I should at least write them down.  

I had to nearly bite my lips off in order to sustain from replying sarcastically.  I mean honestly!  The one time I actually tell her the truth she accuses me of lying and buys me a diary.  What do I look like?  A girl?  

… Don't answer that.

Thursday, December 2 

**3:30 pm**

I found out why mom informed me of her dating yesterday.

I'm going to kill her.

She has terrible tastes in men.

**9:45 pm**

Okay.  Now that I'm calm, I suppose I can talk about this.  

I'm walking home from school with my best friend, Blink, right?  And we're talking about how this kid named Skittery came to school dressed like an elf because he clamed that it was Legolas, the elf's, birthday from Lord of the Rings, when a car pulls over to the curb right next to us.

And there sits my mom… with Mr. Denton, my English teacher.  The English Teacher who is currently failing me because I "cannot write grammatically correct essays."

"Hey, Andy."  She smiles at Blink.  "Jacob."  Blink grins back although you could see that he was trying to calculate the situation in his head.  Which was impossible because nothing could have made sense at that moment.  "Bryan was just dropping me off at the house, would you guys like a ride?"  

Wait.  Stop.  Rewind.  Why was she calling my English teacher Bryan and why was she seated in his car?  Was there something I was overlooking here?  

But I couldn't very well demand an explanation in front of Blink and Mr. Denton.  Instead I would be patient, refuse the ride offer and walk home before asking my mother what the HELL was going on.

And that was exactly what I did.  Blink and I live across the street so the moment we got to our houses, I said goodbye, ran across the street, and practically crashed into my house.

There sat mom on the couch, looking like a puppy that just tore up the carpet.

"_What_ were you _doing_ in Mr. Denton's car?"  I demanded, trying to regain my senses.  

That guilty look on mom's face wasn't reassuring at all.  "Andy, I know this is not going to be easy on you, but I really like Bryan and I'd appreciate your acceptance on this decision."

Don't worry.  I did not explode.  I remained completely calm.  I actually managed to grin.  "Yeah, mom, that's great."  I left the room with that grin pasted onto my face although I had a feeling it looked as fake as can be.

And of course mom noticed because as I left the room she called after me "That diary would come in handy now, Andy!"

**11:30 pm**

How could she _do_ this to me?  Didn't she ever think about how I would feel if she decided to date my teacher??  And how the hell did they meet anyways?  How does a teacher meet with a parent and land up DATING???  What am I missing here?  I cannot believe this.

What is everyone at school going to say once they find out??  As if being a 5'2, girly fourteen-year-old boy isn't weird enough, let's just add that my mom is dating the cruelest teacher in the entire school.  That'll win me popularity points.  

I can't believe this is happening.  I just got offline from telling Blink about it.  And he was unsurprisingly not reassuring.  Blink couldn't make anyone feel better to save his life.  

This is what our conversation consisted off:

LilSpot01:  My mom is dating Mr. Denton.

BlinkingKid:  Well he did drive her home.

LilSpot01: How can you be so calm about this??  My MOM is dating MR.DENTON.

BlinkingKid:  Dude, I understand.  Who cares?  It's not you are dating Mr. Denton.

LilSpot01:  Ew, Kid, I at least, have better taste than that.

BlinkingKid:  No offense Andy, but Jack Kelly Sullivan was not much better.  His hair is greasy.

LilSpot01:  His hair is NOT greasy.  He gels it.

BlinkingKid:  Not that it matters now.  I mean you're over him right?

LilSpot01:  Of course!  Football players were so last year.

BlinkingKid:  Yeah.  Whatever.  I gotta go.

LilSpot01:  WHAT?  But what about my dilemma?  My MOM is going out with my English teacher!!

BlinkingKid:  Dude, Spot, chill.  It's no big deal.  No one will even care.  Bye.

And that is when my ever so thoughtful best friend signed off.

The thesis statement of this story?

Andrew "Spot" Conlon is going to be laughed off campus tomorrow and no one will care.  

TBA… 

Ok.  Eventually, I will develop an in-depth plot.  Until then, tell me what you think.  Should I continue?  Or should I just pick my brains until I can get out another chapter of Friday I'm In Love.  

Oh, and yes, this will be slash.  Well I guess there are already hints of it so this warning is pretty much useless now.  Oh well.  

R&R please?  ^_^


	2. Chapter 2

Still do not own this.  Practically Disney and Meg Cabot, who is the coolest person in the entire world, own everything here.

You, Me, and That Guy 

Thursday December 2 

Okay, so maybe Blink was right.  Maybe no one really does care if my mom is dating Mr. Denton.  Or maybe, as Blink informed me while rolling his eyes excessively much, no one knew.  Which was probably the case.  

And no one is going to find out.  Ever!  

I went to school today completely freaked out.  I thought for sure that the moment I stepped through the front doors of the school, everyone would turn and stare.  I could almost hear them whispering, "That Freak's mother is going out with Mr. Denton!"

Thankfully, that did not happen.  Instead, when I made my stunning appearance, everyone ignored me, as usual.  I walked to my locker and gazed longingly at Jack Kelly and his girlfriend Sarah make out wildly next to me, for no matter what I say, Jack Kelly will always be attractive, football player or not.  And then I headed to my first class, English.  Yay.  Other than the fact that Skittery now donned a normal wardrobe, nothing seemed to be too out of order.  Although Mr. Denton did call me up to his desk after class.

In which incredibly uncomfortable conversation occurred.  

"Andrew, are you okay with this?  Your mother wishes for your approval in our relationship."  Even when having a heart to heart Mr. Denton made the sentences seem like a lecture.  Maybe it's from all those years of being a teacher.

I smiled at him, because I'm sure that is what he wanted.  "It's fine, Mr. Denton.  I told my mother yesterday that I do not mind your relationship."

The way Mr. Denton stared at me insured that he knew I was lying.  "I have the feeling that you are not telling the truth.  Would you like to tell me how you really feel?"

No, I do not wish to have a heart-to-heart chat about what you dating my mother means to me.  If you haven't noticed, you are the evil teacher who is currently failing me in English.  I would rather have a heart-to-heart with Jack Kelly about my borderline-obsessive crush on him. 

"No, really, I completely approve of your relationship," I reassured him.  "If I have a problem I will come to you."

And then I made my hasty retreat.  I told Blink all about it later during World History, the only class we have together considering Kidblink is practically a genius and I am not.  He just shrugged and said, "It is thoughtful of him to try and sort things out between your mother and you.  Perhaps you should just be honest and tell your mom how you really feel."

Yeah right.  That will be a pleasant conversation.  "Hey mom, I hate your new boyfriend.  He is failing me in English."  I'm sure that will go well.  Especially since mom just decided she was going to start dating again.  Pretty soon she will be against dating forever.  Although that might prove to have a positive outcome.

So I politely told Blink to shut up, even though he brought it up again after school.  

When I got home, my mom was waiting for me.  "Did you and Mr. Denton have a little chat today during school?" She asked.

"Yes," I answered.  And then I went to my room.  

Currently, I am planning ways to break up mother and Mr. Denton. 

Monday December 6 

My life is over.  I know, I probably say that everyday but today it's true!  I'll have to transfer out, leave this place forever and more to Japan where everybody speaks a differently language and won't notice that I am a disgrace to humankind.

Sarah, Jack Kelly's popular girlfriend, found out that mom is dating Mr. Denton.  Apparently she saw the two of them Friday after school MAKING OUT in the middle of Central Pack.  Well, actually, they were on one of those horse buggy-things but still!  The indignity of it all!!  My mother has betrayed me!  She couldn't even stay out of the public eye for two days!  What am I going to do?  

I arrived to school and noticed Sarah whispering in Jack's ear instead of sucking his tongue out of his mouth as usual.  And then Jack turned to me and said; "I heard you're getting chummy with the English teacher.  Congratulations.  But I doubt setting him up with your mom is going to raise your grade in English."  Then, him and Sarah laughed as if what he said was witty or something even though it so wasn't.  But still, I nearly DIED.  Right then, right there.  Jack has never made fun of me before.  I mean our lockers are close to each other's and he had plenty of opportunities before.  Like the time that I opened my locker and in the process of trying to retrieve my algebra book, I knocked all the contents of my locker out on top of me.  But he didn't laugh.  Granted he was shoving his tongue down Sarah's mouth at the time, but still.  He didn't laugh or make fun of me.  And now he is attempting to mock me.  The keyword is attempting because jocks don't really know how to insult properly.  Hit in the head too many times with the ball or something, right?  

And so I went grudgingly from class to class counting minutes until I could get home and yell my mom I have to transfer to China.  (At least in China they are all communists so my mom cannot date my English teacher.  I don't think.  Actually I know nothing about Communism.  I should try learning something about that.)  

However, my mom was unsympathetic to my problems.

"They'll forget all about it by tomorrow, honey," She told me.

She hates me.  That is why she wishes such a terrible curse upon me by dating my English teacher.  "We'll see tomorrow, when once again I'm laughed out of school!"  And then I stomped up toward my room.  

And what did my loving mother do when obviously I was in much pain about the whole ordeal.  She yelled, "Stop acting like such a girl honey!  Everything will be fine."

Seeking the much needed pity, I called Blink the moment I got upstairs.  In which we had the following conversation that shows that I am all alone in this world:

Me:  Did you hear everyone teasing me today!

Blink:  No.  Were they teasing you?

Me:  You didn't NOTICE???  They were laughing at me!  All of them!  And my mom won't send me to China!

Blink:  I thought you wanted to go to Japan.  Why would you go to China?  There are communists in China.  

Me:  It doesn't matter where I want to go!  My mom won't send me!  I'm doomed!

Blink:  Oh.  …Hey guess what?  My foreign exchange student just got here.

Me:  I will die a … wait, what?

Blink:  He was supposed to get here yesterday but his plane was delayed.  Wanna come over and meet him?

Me:  What? NO!!  Dammit, Blink, what about my problems??

Blink:  Well I guess you can see him tomorrow then.  He's coming to school with me.  He speaks English real well.  Doesn't even really have that thick of an accent.  I think you'll like him.  He's pretty short, like you.

Me:  Sounds great.  I'm going to mourn my upcoming death.  See you tomorrow.

Blink:  Bye!

Why does everyone hate me?  Doesn't everyone have any pity?  I hate my life.

Tuesday December 7 

I met Blink's foreign exchange student today.  His name is, well, something long and confusing that I'll never be able to pronounce, much less, write.  Blink probably can't pronounce it either because he started calling him Racetrack.  He claims he calls him that because they watched races at the Belmont track last night on TV and Race was able to guess the winner of each one.  I know its because he needed something easier to call him.  Race doesn't seem to care though.  He's pretty cool.

Apparently Blink pays attention and cares more than I realized because Race already knew about my crisis when I met him.  Not that I knew that.  I didn't find out until Sarah made a particularly mean comment about my mom and Mr. Denton and Race responded with a similar nasty comment about Jack and her.  She went white and hasn't said a word since.  I think I kinda like this guy.  He's nice.  And he's short too!  Finally.  There needs to be more short guys in the world.  

Anyways, English final tomorrow.  I need to study.  

Life is still over.  Just not as over as I thought.

TBA…

::sigh::  I should be working on term paper for English.  But I did this instead.  I'm not sure if I'm happy about that or not.  I shouldn't be putting off important paper, but on the other hand, it took me a long time to get 2nd chapter out.  Oh well.  Hope you like!

Not enough time for individual shout-outs or anything.  Have to get to work.  I now have… 23 hours and 10 minutes to finish paper.  But I love you all and appreciate all your nice reviews!  Thank you thank you!  Very much!  Hopefully you all enjoy this chapter.  


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